can anybody hear me?

I’ve been trying to post for weeks and it seems like life always gets in the way or I just am unsure of what to say. It’s totally unfair that I fell off the face of earth without an update. Consistency is probably not one of my strengths. But I do miss you all so much! I’ve tried to keep up with the emails you all send and the snapchats but it can get overwhelming having an anonymous blog to keep up with sometimes.

This blog helped work through a lot of emotional demons I had been battling for a long time. While I enjoyed sharing all of this with you, life definitely threw me like a million obstacles. I give props to everyone who is able to keep up with a blog and their personal life.

I’m not saying I want to stop writing, because I definitely don’t but I guess I just have to find a balance. Between all the problems we’ve been having with our families, Danny and I have been stretching ourselves thin trying to balance it all out. We haven’t been able to wedding plan or even enjoy our marriage like we had planned. Things have just been incredibly difficult. I’m not asking for your sympathy but definitely your understanding.

I can’t express how much I miss all of you! My last two weeks consisted of me flying to Mexico three times. I flew back home last week on Thursday and now I am back in Mexico for a few days before Danny and I fly back out on Monday. He hasn’t been home in so long.

So, yeah. I know this isn’t a post but I wanted to get something up since I had some pretty nasty emails today which made me feel awful. I didn’t mean to disappear, I love you guys. Stay awesome and I hope you are all well.

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one year later…

I’m sure you guys hate me for falling off the face of the earth for the past month and a half-ish? I hate myself for doing that to you guys! It just seems like Danny and I can’t catch a break.

Back in March, we were looking into buying a house in the Chicago and just when we were finalizing our decision he got a call from his mom that there was a family emergency. We basically packed our bags and headed to Mexico. I wasn’t going to go but Danny basically turned white when his mom called him. That made me nervous so I decided to tag along for support. We dropped our dogs off at my parents’ house and had my dad drop us off at the airport. The whole flight there was basically filled with anxious silence. I got a little drunk (how appropriate, I know) cus flights make me kind of nervous.

Danny’s dad is super sick. There was an incident at his job and he was injured pretty badly. I can’t get into details about it for privacy reasons but Danny is pretty shaken up still. His Dad had been in the hospital for a while until they finally released him to his home. He can’t do much still but at least he’s home now. Danny’s mom feels a lot better now that he’s home too. And I feel a lot better now that I’m home!

Sooooo…

We’re married. I hate to drop that bomb on you guy just like that but I couldn’t help it. We just kind of eloped on our own in Mexico. My parents were furious. We are still planning to have a wedding here because I obviously want something grand as well.

Everything happened so fast. We were going to the Zocalo de Cuernavaca for some snacks. It was nice to take a break from all the craziness and enjoy the weather with him. There really wasn’t much time for that. I was waiting for my diablito when Danny disappeared. That kind of frustrated me because a diablito doesn’t taste the same when you buy it for yourself. I don’t care how that sounds but it just doesn’t. Just as I was going to take out my monedero out of my purse, Danny ran up and gave the gentleman the money. I smiled at him, kissed his cheek and thanked him.

Diablitos don’t taste the same if you buy them yourself,” he winked.

He just gets me, you know?

We walked around for a bit until we were standing by the monument.

“Do you remember how different things were last year?” I asked him.

“Yeah. You were only here on vacation. But I cherished every second of it.”

“Our lives were so much less complicated…”

“Chris, I need to ask you something.”

“Yeah..?” I asked.

“I have something for you. And I don’t want you to think that I am pressuring you but I want you to be honest with your answer. You mean the world and more to me. I can’t think of anyone else who would have taken this trip with me and had no hesitation doing so. You left your family, your dogs and everything for me, indefinitely. There’s so much you do for me and I have no idea how to repay you.”

“I love you, Danny. You know I would do anything for you.”

“Marry me,” he said as he pulled out a ring I didn’t recognize. “Not today, maybe not next month but soon. Marry me. Because I can’t stand the fact that I’ve known you for so long and you still don’t have my last name.”

I started crying and said yes.

So yeah. I’m literally blogging on like 3 hours of sleep. But I had to give you guys something! And I was dying to tell you all. So I hope you can forgive me for being MIA. But I’ll definitely tell you all about the wedding (was it really a wedding?) soon!

My husband is waiting for me in our bed….. 😉

cheeseburgers in fancy gowns

After my date with Danny, we kind of gave each other some space. It was really annoying but we figured that we probably couldn’t jump back into our normal routine. That totally wouldn’t have been healthy for us.

It was almost Christmas time and my Dad had this annual benefit that I’d promised I would accompany him to. I regretted it the day came closer. It was a ton of snobby people trying to impress each other. But it was black tie and I had been dying to dress up. I wore a gown and my hair in a half up-do.

The benefit was a little boring. My Dad spent most of his time networking and I just kind of strolled about talking to people we only usually see at this event. I ran into this girl, Danielle, who was talking to me about how her start up business was booming (insert shocked face here) and how she was looking for an interior designer. My Mom is an interior designer so I gave her a business card. But then she started talking about how this relatively new company in Chicago was remodeling a building for her. Okay, cool? I didn’t think much of it until I realized she was talking about Bae’s business. She kept saying how he was so handsome and she even invited him tonight but he declined. Can you guys imagine the shit that would have went down if I had seen him there with that tramp? It irritates me just thinking about it. Once she finally ran out of things to talk about, I got my phone out of my clutch and texted Danny.

Who is Danielle? 

I saw the three little dots two seconds after my message showed as delivered then they disappeared. With my phone in my hand, I waited a few more moments before putting my phone away. No response. I went about the rest of the evening thinking why Danny was hesitant to text me back about her? My Dad noticed that something was bothering me and asked me what was going on. I sucked it up, plastered a smile on my face and said I was fine. The night was almost over anyway.

We were finally on our way home and my Dad made me talk about what I was thinking.

“If I talk about it, can we get cheeseburgers?” I asked.

“Of course.” He responded.

I told him about Danielle and how much it bothered me. Mostly, I think I was being incredibly insecure. My Dad confirmed that but he also let me know it was normal because of everything that’s happened.

“You’re gonna work it out, kid. That guy is crazy about you. He left his whole life behind to be with you. And he knew it wouldn’t be easy. I can’t imagine any other guy would have stuck around. Just take it day by day. You’ll see. You will both end up together like you’re meant to.”

I blushed and then laughed.

“Why are you laughing?” My Dad asked.

“Because you hated Danny and now you can’t wait for us to be together again. I think it’s funny.”

My Dad smiled and shook his head.

“Okay, stop being a sap. Can we get cheeseburgers now?” I asked.

“Yes, Tin. You’re the only girl I know who is happy to stop by a drive thru in those shoes and that gown. Aren’t you worried it’ll get stained?”

“Dad. I’ve been doing this my whole life. Just get me the damn cheeseburger.”

Danny and I chose to spend Christmas Eve together on our own. We both cooked a nice dinner and watched cute movies. I fell asleep but woke up when I felt Danny move. He was organizing something under the Christmas tree.

“Is that for me?!” I asked now fully awake.

“Chris,” he laughed. “Damn it. You’re like a child. Go back to sleep.”

“But is it mine?”

“Yes.”

“Am I going to love it?”

“I hope so,” he laughed. “Come on. Let’s go upstairs and sleep. You can open gifts in the morning.”

I didn’t want to get up so I made myself up into a human ball and made Danny carry me upstairs. We cuddled until I dozed off. When I woke up again it was like 7am on Christmas morning. Yay! I woke Bae up.

“DANNY! WAKE UP! IT’S CHRISTMASSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!” I jumped up and down on the bed.

“If it’s before 8am, we’re gonna fight…” was his response as he look at his phone. He glared at me and this was my face:

emoji

We opened our gifts. It was a little emotional because Baby was due for his first Christmas but Danny definitely made my feelings acknowledged. We had breakfast at home before we took gifts over to my parents’ house. I think all we did was eat and bum around. My sister got me some cool makeup palettes I had been too lazy to get myself. And I gave her the same thing. Everyone thought that was cute.

I’m dying to catch you guys up on my life. It’s just that something always comes up. We’ve been really busy looking at houses in the city. But you are all more than welcome to follow me on Snapchat! My username is hopelesstempt.

Danny and I have some exciting news to share with all of you! He knows about the blog now. But first, I gotta catch you guys up on everything else. Which I will now that my schedule isn’t so crazy.

i didn’t have instructions for this

So in the midst of my breakdown, I somehow broke my phone. I don’t remember how (lies) but I recently rejoined the world of technology once again. It was super refreshing to not have a phone for a while though. No one had any way to contact me besides social media which I barely access through my laptop. Those few days without communication was just clutch.

My Dads eventually forced me to get a new phone because they are obviously over protective and needed to be in contact with me at all times. This time I got my own line though. Figured it was time to spread my wings and leave my Dad’s phone plan so I could pay for my own. Is this what grown ups do? I’ve spent a lot time reconnecting with my pups. They’re super glad  to have me back and I’ve even taken them with me to visit baby’s grave. It’s incredible how calm they are when we’re there. They just watch me intently. Like I’m fragile or something. A lot of my counseling after everything told me that I need to stop visiting him so much. I think I might have mentioned that. It was a few days before Christmas when my Dad called to check up on me while I was visiting.

“Chris, you know what the doctors told you. You cannot plan your whole life around the cemetery’s visiting hours. It is not healthy”

I sighed in frustration. My agreement was that I would slowly start to visit less and less as the weeks went by. This had just begun and I was entitled to my 4 times a week. I know that sounds excessive..

“I know. But you promised to let me do it at my pace.”

He softened up and let me enjoy my time there. I was about to start picking up when Pebbles started barking and whimpering. When I looked up, I saw Danny. He petted the pups for a while and smiled at me. I smiled back. Luckily, I had gotten a little dolled up that day because I had a few things to do at my Dad’s office that morning. More on that later. I was wearing a skirt and top under my coat paired with my knee high Loub boots. Danny loved those boots.

“Hey,” he said sheepishly.

“Hi.”

“You look really good. I’m glad you’re feeling better.”

“Thanks,” I smiled. “It’s good to kind of feel human again.”

“How was your birthday?”

“I didn’t even know it was my birthday. So I guess I kind of skipped it this year..” I joked.

He furrowed his brow and stayed quiet for a bit. Then he got on his knees and put a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers on the grave. I smiled at him. This probably hurt Danny more or less the same it did me but he handled it so well.

I started packing up my things so that Danny could have his time there too.

“Listen, Christina, I know how much you love your birthday and it would mean a lot to me if you’d let me take you out for dinner. You deserve that at the very least.”

For a moment I really hesitated. There was no instructions or plans for this right now! I was on a strict program to follow.

“Uhmm. Yeah. I think I would really like that.”

“Cool. I’ll text you the details?”

I nodded and grabbed my pups. Pebbles didn’t want to leave Danny and she whimpered a bit.

“Oh, wait. I have a new number and stuff!”

“I know,” he smiled.

He looked at me innocently as I tried to hold in my laughter at his stalkerish ways. I shook my head and waved at him. When I was walking away, I heard him say “she’ll come around” to baby. I turned around and he was looking down at the tombstone smiling. This made me feel fuzzy. I never once doubted how strong our love for each other was.

Once Danny gave me the details for dinner (which weren’t many), I called Karen so that we could freak out together. She picked a dress for me that had been sitting in my closet for a while. I paired it with some black pumps and did my hair in soft curls using a wider barrel. I looked pretty flawless.

Danny picked me up in a car I didn’t recognize. He opened the door for me and everything. It was pretty adorable. He handed me a rose as I got in the car. Swwooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnn. So let me just say that I have never been attracted to anyone as much as I am to Danny and whenever he puts on a suit, I just can’t contain myself. But I needed to. No matter how badly I wanted to lick his unshaved face.

Dinner was incredibly romantic. Danny got Table 70 at Vivo. I always imagined that I would be proposed to here. Super cute. The night really just flowed and I couldn’t help but feel a tugging in my heart from how much I missed him. I hadn’t even realized it. The night flowed on and we went for a little walk even though it was freezing out. We talked and talked and talked. It’s like we never really stop learning about each other. We had walked quite a bit and I realized we were by OTC. I made Danny cross the street and admire it with me. Then I made him come inside and people watch with me. Once I was satisfied, we walked back to the car.

I was looking up as we walked and when I finally started to look where I was going, I noticed that Danny was looking at me.

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing, Chris.”

“Stop it. Tell me.” I demanded.

“I just really missed seeing you like this,” he responded as he looked down.

“I missed feeling like this,” I responded honestly.

He pulled me closer and stared at my lips for a few moments before kissing me sweetly. His kiss lingered for a bit and when we finally separated, I saw a slight flush in his cheeks.

“ARE YOU BLUSHING?!” I squealed.

“NO!”

“YOU TOTALLY ARE! I MADE YOU BLUSH!!” I teased.

He laughed and picked me up so he could throw me over his shoulder.

“Danny, stop. Put me down! Everyone can see my ass!”

A couple walked past us and giggled at our antics.

“I don’t care who sees your ass cus I know it belongs to me,” he said as he lightly smacked it.

I laughed at his remark and demanded he put me down.

“Say it’s mine! Say it!” He laughed.

Finally, I gave in.

“It’s yours!” I laughed.

“What is?”

“My ass! Put me down!”

“That’s not nice, Chris..” he said playfully.

“It’s yours! My ass is yours! I’m yours!!” I practically shouted.

He plopped me down onto the ledge of a building almost immediately.

“Damn right you’re mine, woman.” He growled.

Danny kissed me again. This time more passionately than before.

 

dear diary

So.. I really don’t know where to begin now. I’m so sorry for being so MIA with my life but I guess I kind of have a good reason.

After Danny left the house, I fell into this funk. If we’re being honest, I’ve been in this funk for some quite time. It was incredibly hard to pull away from it. My sister came to the house to spend a few days with me but she was busy studying for finals.

I felt incredibly alone. So alone that I probably slept through a whole week. There wasn’t much energy to do anything else. My Dad finally came to visit me and made me realize that whatever I was doing was not healthy for me. We both came to an agreement that I would visit a treatment center so I could get better.

So, that’s where I’ve been. No phone, no computer, no contact with the outside world besides my parents and sister for the past couple of weeks. They’ve been incredibly supportive.

I guess I never really realized how real postpartum depression is. It never crossed my mind that this was something that I could possibly go through. This isn’t something to take lightly. I’m someone who loves to empower others to become better people. Everyone needs to feed their mind, body and soul. Danny and I did a lot of that for each other.

One thing I realized on my little “retreat” is that I had become incredibly dependent on another individual to provide me with happiness. I dug myself so deep in that ditch that I had no one that could pull me out. All the love that Danny had for me was not going to reach me in my soul if I didn’t work on myself.

My Dad has been in contact with him. He tried to visit me while I was there but I refused to see him. It’s so stupid because I genuinely wanted to see him, hug him and apologize for everything. But I felt so embarrassed that I chose to just not see him. Maybe one day we’ll be able to fix everything but for now, I think that it’s best we give each other some space.

I’m back home now. I can’t believe how much I missed my dogs. And how much I just missed my life in general. It’s so cliche but with the year ending, I just cannot wait to get a fresh start. These past few years have taken an incredible toll on me.

In all honesty, I definitely do not want to stop writing. I told my therapist that I had an anonymous blog. She told that it was a wonderful way to vent. Kind of like a diary. But in talking about it, I realize there is so much of my life that I have left out. While I do choose what to share and what needs to remain private, I realized that there’s just this chunk of stuff you don’t know about me. Sometimes it might be hard to understand the kind of person I am because of this.

So let me tell you all a little more about myself.

My name is Chris. I just had a birthday 😦 When I was younger, I was in the performing arts. I was well on my way to a dancing career before my parents decided that this was no way to live a full life. So I left dance to pursue a legal education and career. My parents have always described me as their legacy, their pride and joy. It’s really hard to live under that kind of pressure your entire life. I felt that my creativity was incredibly suppressed. I cracked under the extreme pressure to lead a picture perfect life. With that, I also lost two great loves that will forever remain in my heart. But one that I hope to regain one day.

Now that I’ve told you all a little bit more about myself, I want you all to know that I appreciate your incredible patience with me while I picked myself up from this funk. You have no idea how much it means to me to have all this support from people all over .

I’m slowly trying to get back into a normal routine. While I cannot commit to a certain amount of posts a week, I can promise that I will write when I have something worthy of your attention. Or simply when I need to vent to all of you or tell you about my day.

If you’ll have me, of course!

heavy clouds

After all the making up and the ‘I miss you’ sex, you’d think we had made progress. A few days after we finally got over all of that, Danny wanted to spend some time together. I had gotten out of work early to go spend some time at the cemetery.

“Christina, I don’t think that it’s healthy for you to go the cemetery all the time. You need to get back to your normal routine..” he suggested.

“This is my normal routine,” I snapped.

He sighed loudly but decided not to continue this argument. We were getting pretty good at picking our battles.

I had agreed to go to one more counseling session in exchange for peace when it came to the cemetery terms. I thought that was fair. The counseling was really helping Danny and I wanted to be there for him. When we got there, I was pretty crabby because traffic had been awful.

Our counselor kind of walks on egg shells around me. Or so I think. I get the vibe that she holds back a lot when it comes to me. Maybe cus I’m a bitch? I don’t know. But we were doing really well and I kind of felt like we were making progress.

“Well, Danny, now that you’ve mentioned how you felt. Do you think it would be good for the two of you to spend some time apart?”

I snapped my neck to look at him so fast… Then I saw him nodding his head yes. I don’t really know what I felt at that moment but I just didn’t want to say anything else.

“Chris, do you think you could also benefit from having some time off?”

“I just want to do whatever will make Danny happy,” I replied sincerely.

“But what about you? Do you want some time alone to reevaluate what you really want out of this?”

“Well..” I started as I began to fidget with my engagement rings. “I know that I love Danny. And I know that I want to be with him for the rest of my life. But I also think that we’re grieving a little differently.. I wish he would come with me more often to church or to the cemetery but he doesn’t want to do that. So I respect that. If we need space, then we’ll give each other space.”

When I finished my little rant, I turned to look at Danny and he reached for my hand and kissed it. We agreed to the terms of our “separation” and left.

“Want to grab some food before we head back home?” He asked.

“Uh, no. Thanks. You can head back if you want. I’m going to head to the park for a little while.”

“Chris, I’m not just going to leave you here. I’ll go with you.”

“Look,” I sighed. “I really just want to be alone right now. To process everything. I promise I’ll text you when I’m on my way home.”

“No. I have some errands to run. I’ll just stay in the area. Let me know when you’re ready to head back.”

He kissed my forehead and I walked around aimlessly until I figured out where I wanted to go. I ended up by the Shedd aquarium and sat by the lake. It was kind of cold that day but for some reason, that’s the only place I wanted to be. Away from the madness. To be able to just sit there and absorb the beautiful skyline. I don’t know how long I had been sitting there when I heard Danny approach me.

“How did I know you’d be here?” He asked.

His voice startled me and I smacked him playfully. He sat down next to me and threw a fleece blanket over me. We sat there in silence for a while until he pulled me onto his lap so my butt wouldn’t be on the cold ground.

A few more moments passed until I decided to finally break the silence.

“What happened to us?” I asked curiously.

Danny put his thinking face on.

“I think that I wanted to fix us so bad that I didn’t realize how hurt we both were. Or that you needed to fix yourself in your own way. It’s not that we don’t love each other. I love you immensely. Sometimes it scares me how much I love you. You have no idea how much it hurt me that you were hurt. Over something that was my fault. It’s a dark, heavy cloud over my head. I don’t want it over your head too. You sounded like you were having so much fun while I was gone. You managed to make me madly jealous over some guy I didn’t even know existed. You’re everything. The though of losing you over this to anyone or just losing you in general, kills me. I don’t want that. I know you’re the one for me. We’re going to be okay. Just not right now.”

It took my a while to process everything he had said. Mostly the raw, vulnerable honesty. I was surprised by it. I turned around so I was saddling him and placed my hands on the side of his face.

“This isn’t your fault, Daniel. What happened to us was horrible. It isn’t fair. I’m sorry you have this dark cloud over you but I want to make it go away…”

He smiled and kissed my nose. I reciprocated by kissing him. Passionately. And slowly but surely, I convinced Danny to unbuckle his pants. We cradled together slowly until we both climaxed. As I got up and fixed my pants, he covered me with the blanket so no one could see my butt. We walked back to the car and drove in mostly silence. He asked me if I wanted food. The answer was obvious. I was famished from all the emotional stuff and sweet sex. We got home and I ran myself a bath. When I finally emerged from the bathroom, Danny was asleep with the pups. I got in bed next to them and spooned him. I don’t know why but I love spooning Danny. I’m super tiny compared to him but it  was just comforting. My hand reached around and he pulled me playfully so I ended up being the little spoon. We laughed for a bit and then dozed off.

The next morning we had breakfast and Danny started to gather his things. We talked during breakfast. A lot. Mostly how the engagement was probably a lot of pressure for us right now. So I gave him the ring back. He tried to say no but it just didn’t feel right to keep wearing it with things the way they were.

We had actually just bought a place in the city and Danny decided he would be staying there until we were back on track. He moved out quickly. It was like ripping off a band aid.

I couldn’t sleep that night. So I called him.

“Are you okay?” He asked.

“Yeah.”

“Are the dogs okay..?”

“Mhmm..”

“You can’t sleep?” he whispered.

“No.. ”

“Me neither..”

There wasn’t much that needed to be said after that. We stayed on the phone until he fell asleep. Then I hung up and dozed off after that.

i miss my dress

Karen kept me company most of the time while Danny was away on “business”. We hadn’t talked and I was starting to miss him. Theo was off to his dad’s house for the weekend so Karen suggested we go out.

I was tired of being locked up in the house, so I agreed. Alcohol was involved. Of course I agreed. We went bar hopping in River North. I wore a cute little dress and some of my fave booties. In all honesty, I really didn’t make much of an effort to get ready. I wanted to drink but I didn’t need to look like bombshell to do so. My hair was in it’s natural state of curls and my makeup minimal. Karen texted me when she was outside so I locked up and left. The pups were with my parents.

When we got to our first stop, I was being kind of a bad friend. You know those friends who act all distant when they go out? And someone has to keep repeating everything that was said? That was me. I could tell Karen was getting annoyed so I snapped back into reality and started being the fun Chris everyone loves.

We were at some bar I had never been to when my phone vibrated. I forgot I even had it. It was Danny.

I miss you.. Can we talk?

I’m out right now. Call you when I get home?

Sounds like a date. Have fun, be safe.

I smiled and was pretty content with the feeling that he missed me. Things were starting to get so rough between us that I questioned him about being with me every chance I got. Karen noticed I was smiling at my phone and she asked what I was being so cheesy about.

“Danny just texted me.” I said.

“And that’s a good thing, right?!”

I nodded in response and ordered another drink. Things started to get blurry somewhere between Danny texting me and taking shots with this group of guys who looked like they were in a frat. Gross.

One of the guys, I think his name was Angel (?), sat down next to me and starting talking about his job. He did something really similar to what I do which is really fucking rare. I really had no interest in anything he was saying though. My brain was too concerned with how my talk with Danny would go later on. It’s like he had read my mind because my phone vibrated with a text from him.

Are you having fun? 

A little bit.

I bet you look beautiful. You always do. And I’m sure that I’ve forgotten to tell you that every chance I get but you are. You’re the most beautiful, terrifying woman I know. 

I love you.

“He’s a lucky guy,” Angel said. “Making you smile the way you are? I would give anything to be able to make a woman smile like that.”

“You’ll find that person someday,” I smiled.

“Well,” he laughed. “Tell your boyfriend he better be careful. I might just do something scandalous like ask you to marry me, instead.”

I laughed at his flattery. But he continued.

“I’m serious. Marry me. I’ll take care of you. You won’t need to lift a finger for anything if you’re mine.”

Gross. I scoffed. You’re trying to marry someone you just met? And degrading her ability to be independent?

“Actually, I can take care of myself. But thanks. And in an effort to help you, maybe the girls you hang out with in college love the kind of game you spit but open your eyes. A real woman will never ask you to take care of her. If you can’t appreciate their independence and confidence, then you’re not worth a second of their time.”

I smiled sweetly at him and that was the end of our nice conversation. Karen probably heard me because then she dragged me out of the bar.

Bae, I just got proposed to at the bar.

I’m coming home. 

Karen was saying something to me but I was too drunk to pay attention to my phone and her at the same time.

“Are you even listening to me?!” She demanded.

“Uhm, no. I’m sorry. I know I’ve been horrible company tonight.”

“No, you haven’t been. I thought this would help you take your mind off things but I guess I was wrong..”

“No!” I countered. “I am having fun! And I love you so much for making me come out!”

She half smiled and I sighed.

“Let’s go to my house, drink some tequila and dance our asses off!” I demanded.

We did that. And we drank so much fucking tequila that I don’t ever want it near me ever again.

Danny had gotten home sometime when the sun was starting to come out. Karen and I were sitting on my new rug, drinking mezcal (I don’t even know how it happened), singing to some Pepe Aguilar song when I heard the door open.

“BABYYYY!!” I squealed as I got up.

I didn’t even really get up, I think I like slid myself to him.

“Hi,” he said as he kissed my forehead. “What are you guys doing?”

“Singing.” Karen and I said in unison.

Danny kind of scuffed up my hair like I was his kid sister and I pouted.

“Come sit with us!” I demanded.

He obliged and he took a few shots with us but I could tell he was tired. Also, he looked so sexy that I really wanted to jump his bones but Karen was there and I knew he wouldn’t be into it.

Luckily, after a few more shots she started to doze off so I fixed up the guest room for her. She fell asleep right away. I was coming down the stairs and I almost made it when I missed a step and fell flat on my ass as I went down the 5 steps I missed.

Danny was laughing but he ran to me to make sure I was okay.

“Stop laughing,” I whined. But he didn’t. And I started laughing because I couldn’t remember the last time he laughed that hard. I was happy for his laughter even if it was cus I landed on my ass.

“God,” he said as he caught his breath. “You’re my favorite person.”

I blushed and buried my face in his chest. He tipped my chin up and kissed me. It was gentle and sweet. Then I bit his lip and he turned into an entirely different person.

The kiss deepened and his hands started traveling all over my body. I could tell he was getting irritated with the fabric of my dress that was serving as a barrier. He laid me back on the stairs and I was too drunk to care how uncomfortable it was. We kept kissing and I was growing impatient. I wanted him so bad. Like clockwork, I felt Danny’s hands make their way down to my thighs. With his mouth, he nipped my breasts, creating a small hole in the fabric of my dress. His hands rushed up to the breach of fabric and ripped the fabric apart. I gasped in surprise as his hands reached back and undid my bra. He took my breast in his mouth. Alternating in between suckling and biting. It was driving me crazy.

After a few more moments, I grew more impatient. I pushed Danny back until his back hit the wall. He took his shirt off as I unbuckled his pants and got on my knees. As I took him in my mouth, I watched his facial expression change. After a few moments, he pulled me up and turned me around so I was facing the wall. He bent me over and entered me slowly, savoring every single moment. As he built up a rhythm, I kept getting closer to orgasm. I was just about to when he pulled out and turned me around again. He carried me to the kitchen and sat me on the counter so I was facing him. Danny paused for a second to look at me.

“I love you, okay?” he said.

“Okay,” I smiled.

He entered me again and this time let me reach orgasm. I had to catch my breath for a few moments because my orgasm was so intense that my knees gave out at some point. This is probably what happens when you can’t have sex for a few weeks.

We went at it again for another few hours until we were both way too tired to continue. I think he tapped out first. I was ready to sit on his face. He grabbed our clothes and we ran upstairs. We showered and after, I saw him throw my dress in the trash.

“I really liked that dress…” I pouted.

“I really liked getting you out of that dress.”

I giggled. We got in bed and I snuggled up next to him. Before I dozed off, I kissed his chest.

“Danny?”

“Hmmm?”

“I promise I’m going to make you laugh every single day. Even if I have to fall down the stairs to do it.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead.

“I love you, Christina.”

I smiled and dozed off feeling like every tomorrow would get easier for us. But I was wrong..